"The Insecure Woman" a short essay by Kayla Bynes

Today I want to address the issues of insecurities with young females.

We get talked about because we are not a size two or the way we dress ourselves or the way we talk. I hear everyday how big an African American woman’s butt is and how her shape is. Some women don’t always have the big butts, or the long hair, or anything else theses model-figured women have. But they have faithful hearts and don’t need an “hourglass figure” to make it in life.

That girl you call fat? She starves herself everyday. Or how about that skinny girl? She eats everything under the sun but for some reason is not the size you want her to be. Every girl wants that love and care these basketball wives have so they try so hard for this “hourglass figure” but nobody see the personality behind the skin. Every woman is the same at heart.

In “Video” by India Arie, she sings “no matter what I’m wearing I will always be India Arie” meaning she will always be who she is no matter what she wears or how she walks or anything of her cultural identity.

Some women have an insecure mind, which has many symptoms like fear of rejection and disapproval from others and ends up isolating them from loved ones and becoming loners. Women seek reassurance in the form of compliments, that they are beautiful, they are being loved and so much more. They need a constant supply of verbal signs, symbols and ongoing reassurance from loved ones.

Insecurities are lies we tell ourselves to tear ourselves apart.

Woman, walk with your head high and smile wide. Look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful the way I am and nobody can tell me different.”


Just be yourself, inside and out.